Thursday, March 13, 2014
Am I an adult yet?
I asked my 5 year old cousin how old I was yesterday and she immediately guessed 14. When I told her I was was 19 she was shocked. To her 19 is just such a big number. Then I asked her how old she thought my sister was (she's 21) she said 50 right away. It made me wonder about people's perception of age. In her mind age is just "a lot of numbers." She doesn't see age as the experiences you've gone through or the challenges you've overcome. Then I thought what made her think I was 14 and Janelle was 50 when we're just 2 years apart? I get she's 5 and just said the first number she could think of, but something made me feel like it's more than that. Because in a lot of aspects I feel mature, but in others I don't. I just don't feel I have the independence I thought I'd have by now. When I was 13 I had my mind set that I'd move out of the house as soon as I turn 18. And I just feel like I don't know all the things I thought I'd know by now. Things like what is a credit score? (which is a serious concern of mine) Do I have a credit score? If I do have one is a big number or small number considered good? How can I have one if I don't know what it is??? I wonder if I'm the only 19 year old who is completely clueless on these things. And it's these everyday things that concern me the most. Another example being taxes and all the expenses I don't even realize my parents are paying. As much as I want to be independent and do my own thing I really just straight up don't know how to. And I feel like high schools should focus more on these things. They set us up to be able to handle the workload of college but forget to teach us how to get a loan to pay for it. I'm lucky enough to have parents who handle these things for me but I still feel like I should know how to do it and what things are. Some kids go into college not knowing how to do laundry... How do you expect teenagers to become the people they are supposed to be if they can't make their own bed? And there is so much pressure to figure out what you want to do when you get out of college. The rest of your life is a long time to be stuck in a job you hate because you were forced to choose when you were 18. It's like I wish people would make up their minds. I'm an adult at 18 which means I can vote and buy cigarettes and make a decision that's going to effect the rest of my life. Butttt I can't have a drink, I can't rent a hotel room, I can't even adopt a puppy from the SPCA (which I know cause I've been trying). Why can't they just hold off on telling us were adults until we're 21 or 25 because that's really when people start treating you like one. What's the point in telling us one thing and treating us another way? I want to feel like an adult, not just be one.
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Do you think you'll start feeling like an adult when people start treating you like one? I think by age 25 people will look to you to get your shit together but that doesn't mean you'll be able to. People will disrespect you because now that you're an "adult" they can say whatever they want, but it will still hurt your feelings and you'll want your mom to make it better (maybe). I don't know what makes people look at a new college graduate with no job and a shitty bike and say, "now our boy's all grown up", but I don't think it will make me feel any older. And I don't know what it will take to make me feel like an adult. A credit score is just a number, it won't tell you that you've had a successful life and made choices that have changed the world. And maybe those things won't make you feel any older either. But everyone feels it eventually whether people are treating you like an adult or not. And maybe you'll feel it before people start calling you Ma'am, or after you hear teenagers using language you don't understand, but you'll feel it eventually, probably when you least expect it.
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