Emotions

I know I'm not the only one. I'm not the only lost soul that doesn't know which direction to fly. I want to be happy. At times that is a hard emotion to obtain. I can see it out in the distance, but can't quite reach it, can't fly that far. Pill's can't help me if my arms are too short. 

I hate all the dark emotions I've been having and try to keep them as deep down and buried as they'll go. But that's obviously not always easy, and really not realistic. Emotions are meant to be felt. We wouldn't have them if we were supposed to hide them all the time. It's society that makes us feel like we shouldn't be sad or shouldn't hurt. It's acceptable to laugh in public, but not to cry. We feel awkward when another person shares too much emotion. But why is that? Why do I feel like I don't know what to do if someone starts crying in front of me? I've cried plenty of times in my life, but watching someone else cry makes me uncomfortable. I feel as though I have to wait till I'm in the privacy of my home before I can even shed a tear. And really that's just fucked up. 

People tell you it's okay not to be okay, but if you're anything but fine they don't want to hear it. Everyone's problems matter. Just because I'm not a starving kid in Africa doesn't mean I have no problems. Obviously I'm not saying my problems could ever even compare to theirs, what I'm saying is I shouldn't feel obligated to hide what I'm going through because it's not "important" enough. It's also okay to have the feelings that come along with it. Believe it or not it's okay to be sad even if you don't want to be. You're allowed to say that you're feeling shitty if you're feeling shitty. 

With all the good in life there will always still be bad times. Rough time's that make you question who you are or what you believe in. These bad times genuinely make you appreciate all the good. Happiness is not the only emotion acceptable to express. Although we all may be striving for happiness, feelings are what make us human, make us more evolved, and make us connected to one another. All of these feelings drive our actions. They make us fall in love, or even out of love. They make us jealous and greedy. They make us hopeless and hateful. What ever the emotion is, they make us feel. They make us who we are. And I should never have to hide who I am... whoever that is.